


mariah's diary

by StarlessandAngelus



Series: Mariahs diary [1]
Category: Warhammer 40.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26462272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlessandAngelus/pseuds/StarlessandAngelus
Series: Mariahs diary [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923742





	1. Chapter 1

999.M40

it was my first day at secondary school on Baal and I didn't know anyone to them I was the new kid on the grounds and by god did I feel alone I missed my parents so much I felt like I wanted to go home, yes as in every school there were the bullies and believe me when the kids found out that my father was the Primarch of the Blood Angels I got bullied a lot until I met this other kid a lad that was the same as me he was alone as well his name was Calistarius he was as alone as I was and we quickly became friends, we also had a lot of classes together also he didn't care who my father was he actually thought it was kinda cool that my father was the Primarch, anyway me and Calistarius spent a lot of time together on our breaks and lunchtimes.

Today we went out after school yeah like normal my dad sent one of his sangunary guard out with me just to make sure I was safe and he did keep his distance as well until one of the kids from school started on me now that was funny Azkellon just told the person to leave me alone that it wasn't my fault that I was born in to Baal royalty no I wasn't a princess or anything I was just the next purest form of my fathers blood line and yes my father Created the Blood Angels.

OK I will admit some times at home it can be hard with both my parents being away a lot I'm always being left with Remus Steele he's an inquisitor and as you can tell he can be very strict like if I don't come home from school before going out he loses his temper but then when my parents get home and seen what he done to me they hated him after that when they went to war I would stay at my best friends house.

Yes my life is harder than most mainly because my father is the Primarch of the Blood Angels and my mother well she is a Luna wolf so yeah more reason to hate me but I was born and raise on Baal I should know more than anyone but that didn't quite work out in school.

Back to the first day of school yes like I said it wasn't easy for me at all while in class the teachers used to always attack me and when I didn't know the answer they used to slam me for it saying things like you should know the answer or you are no daughter of the Primarch but they failed to look at the logic my father told me things that only he should know along with what I needed to know.


	2. Chapter 2

001.M41

last night was hard on me again I keep getting these weird dreams I don't know what they mean, in these dreams I am so lost like really lost and so far away from home then nothing it all goes blank, I wake up.

When I was in school I asked Calistarius what they meant but he didn't know but he had been having the same dreams, I knew my father was due home soon maybe he would know what was happening to me maybe he would understand what was wrong or maybe he could explain why me and Calistarius where having these weird dreams.

Where these dreams visions of what was going to happen of the future or where they a message that someone somewhere needed help if that's the case what can I do but warn my father of what I had been seeing, or was it something completely different like there was a link forming and they where the other person dreams either way I had to know what was going on with me.

Any way to some better news me and my best friend had a good day at school we didn't have that much trouble with the bullies we didn't have that much trouble with the teachers either so something good must have come of my complaint to the head master well I suppose if they didn't do anything about it they the alternative would have been my father getting involved and I suppose that is not something you wanna face I know of all people how bad his temper can be.

A bit more on me and how I ended up on Baal, well my mother and father had a one night fling and well that how I came along well as you can guess my mother didn't want me because of who my father was yeah I know it's sad but look at me now anyway about three days after I was born my mother wrapped me up in a blanket and left me on my fathers doorstep so when he did get home I was there yes I love my father to bits I do get visit from my mother on the odd occasion but I'm more of a daddy's girl.


	3. Chapter 3

002.M41

OK this is not funny now the bullies have started again I suppose I should have expected it, well looks like they found out that my mother is a Luna wolf just another thing for them to attack me for, now they know I wasn't born on Baal, suppose I should be greatful that Calistarius hasn't left me yet but I suppose he dont care to him I was still raised on Baal so im still one of them.

Well I did get the answer from my father about the dreams he thinks that I am starting to come in to what I could be, well being a primarch's daughter it wouldnt suprise me but he also said it could be a nexus link forming between me and calistarius, my self I dont know it could be anything.

Well I can tell you something new I think im starting to fall in love with my best friend tho I dont know if he feels the same I will have to tell him how I feel just to see if he feels the same, well I hope he does my dad seems to think he does, thats mainly because hes seen how calistarius looks at me when he meets me at my house so we can walk to school.

Well back on to me then I do have a simple life and my father dont ask for much just the usual things parents ask for, but sometimes that can be annoying, like when me and calistarius where studying for a test we are always in my room so we can study better where it is quiet and I dont have to listen to my dad's meetings with Lord Commander Dante, then suddenly he will just enter my room with out knocking just to see if we are still studying, and im thinking what the hell dad what about a bit of privacy.

Well now how I began to see things differently between me and calistarius, well that is something different completely, as you know from the start we have been friends for a while now, so at school I finally told him how I felt about him and to my surprise he felt the same as I did now that really did come as a shock to me as it did to him as well so from there we started dating you know trying to keep it on the low down so bullies couldnt attack us for being in love, the next thing I know we are so close together that things got a little obvious that we where dating.


	4. Chapter 4

003.M41

Today was a good day for me but a bad day for Calistarius his parents where killed in a car accident so he had to move in with me and my dad poor kid yes I do love him though I know how he feels now I know what the dreams where it must be a nexus link forming between me and him if that is true then it could be good it would mean that whatever Calistarius sees, hears, feels, or says I will be able to, and whatever I hear, feel, see or say he will be able to as well.

Well back to school today for the new year and I know how hard this is going to be everyone will know about what has happened and they will target him well I wont let that happen I will protect him with everything I have with all my power yes one day I do hope to become a Blood Angel.

Well during the holidays my dad gave me an option after I leave school I can either become a Blood Angel and fight along side him after I passed my training or carry on my education I just don't know which way to go he doesn't know that I'm pregnant yet I only found out today which ever way I go I know he will be proud of me.

Today is Calistarius' last day in school he joins the Blood Angels tomorrow so I will have to carry on in school alone he wants to be able to provide for our family to be able to give our child everything that we never had just means I will be left with Remus again oh god I hate that man I think he is mad or crazy or both I don't know what is wrong with him but I do know he don't like me much, could be because my mother is a Luna wolf or that my father is the creator of the Blood Angels whatever his problem I have to deal with him again.

When calistarius found out that I was pregnant he was as surprised as I was, I just hope that he is making the right choice, I also hope that he will return back home safely I will always worry about him he is my one true love my soul mate and If I ever lost him I would do everything in my power to find out what happened to him.

More on me now I suppose, well the end of school was hard as you know, I'm not your normal girl I'm now 100 years old and my power is slowly starting to show I know if I did join the blood angels I would be a librarian which is where Calistarius is I know coincidence or fate right I don't think it is my father always said that we don't choose where we are put our power does, too much for me to handle right now my power along with the pregnancy and school it's all getting to be too much for me good job I have Calistarius and my dad for now.


	5. Chapter 5

004.M41

Well my first day in school with out Calistarius how bad did it go now the bullies want to pick on me because I am alone maybe or because they know im pregnant wouldnt that be a shock maybe if they knew they wouldnt pick on me or maybe they would just so I loose the baby, oh man this is not so easy I wish it was, I wish every day I could leave this school for good and not return maybe then I would be happy I could be more useful if I was at home I wouldnt have anything to worry about I could just be me.

i'm thinking of asking my dad if I can stay home and be home schooled it may be easier I am not learning anything from school im hoping he says yes if he does I can be more me and not hide who I am I can be the primarch's daughter and never be judged for it that would be better for me, the next problem being will my father go for it oh I hope he does.

I asked my dad if I could be home schooled and he said yes, he thought it was a good idea cause then I can prepare for the time that I do become a Blood Angel, you know I didnt think that my dad would agree then again I am his only daughter so he would do anything for me I could cause so much trouble but my dad he would never think anything less of me all because all the good I do really out weighs the bad so at the end of the day no harm done.


	6. Chapter 6

005.M41

so today I left school for the final time and decided to take my father up on his offer of being a Blood Angel, so by now as you have gussed I lost my best friend part of why I decided to join so I could find out what really happened to him.

So today I started my training as well as finishing school and passing all my exams well that probably didnt come as much of a shock right well now I will tell you my training how I got chosen to be Mephiston's apprentice.

So as you know I started my training well at least went to the barracks to start my training yes I know odd that I would wanna join the one thing that got my friend killed but it was a way for me to feel close to him and spend more time with my father but I knew I wouldnt get any special treatment which how I wanted to if the other recruits knew I was the primarch's daughter it wouldnt be a good thing because everything I went through at school with the bullying would happen again here and I wouldnt be able to do what I needed to do to pass this.

So in the barracks I have my own room well being the only girl that was to be expected, well I have unpacked all my things and settles in now all that is left is to settle down and find the dining room my god I wish I never said to my father to treat me like any other recruit then I wouldnt have found it so hard to settle though I did manage to find the library all by my self I was just wondering around thats when I found it along with Dante the chapter master that was odd tho I suspected that my father told him to look out for me and make sure that no one else found out my secret.

Well as we know my father asked Lord Commander Dante to look out for me to make sure that my secret was still mine and to make sure I was doing as I was told and not causing any trouble with the other recruits well that was until I had the chance to meet the Chief Librarian Mephiston it came as a bit of a shock he look so like Calistarius it was probably a coincidence that he looked like my best friend or was it something more I really dont know what to think now.

I know the last you heard I was pregnant right well because of remus I lost the child he hit me in the stomach as soon as he found out I was six months pregnant with a baby girl and by god did my father hate him that was the day that we found out he was working for chaos.


	7. Chapter 7

006.M41

Well today was my first day of training and well so far so good I think I may make it to where I want to be, I was in the library when I seen one of the tactical marines but when I looked again he was gone so probably a figment of my imagination gotta be right.

Well I had a note at breakfast this morning to meet the Chief Librarian in the library so I went and to my surprise he asked me to be his apprentice only because I had show potential though I still think it may be because my father, I know he is only trying to look out for me but really, or I suppose it could have been because I shown potential I know I am good but I didn't think I was that good I just hope I can be who Mephiston thinks I can be I don't want to let him down by failing.

While I was packing my things to move to my new home, yes I know sharing a home with the Chief Librarian probably what you all expected right well this was different I found out that Mephiston was once Calistarius but he went through the Black Rage which for all you people that don't know is the genetic flaw of the Blood Angels, well my now mentor has beaten it twice.

I'm just hoping that he remembers me, but I also wonder what it would take and how long it would take for him to remember me but on that one I suppose only time will tell I hoping it sooner rather than later it may make my time living with him better and easier rather than treading on egg shells around him.

Well I'm settled in and got all my stuff unpacked and I was just about to go to the library when I realized how many book where here already and believe me when I say all the books that I needed where right here, yes its hard for me living with the memories of what me and Calistarius once had especially know that he doesn't remember it looking at him every day seeing the ghost of my friend isn't easy on me one bit it even got the point that I couldn't even stay in the same room as him let alone the lessons but I faced it head on cause I knew that is what he would have done and I know doing this would have made him proud of me.

I know my dad would be proud of me and he probably is proud of me but he cant show it yes I miss him my best friend I wish I could have been there to help him even to save him, when I see the struggle that Mephiston goes through to remain himself I cant help but wonder if my blood will help him some how help him control what he is or help him control his power maybe one day I will find out but that day is not today as I have to focus on my training.


	8. Chapter 8

007.M41

So today was my first day of training with Mephiston but it wasn't easy, there where so many memories rushing round my head I kind of lost control of my power and instead of damaging the dummy I blew it up instead, well I thought he was going to be angry with me, but to my surprise he actually said it was OK and that everyone has that problem on their first day, yes it did make me feel better.

I feel as if I have a connection to Mephiston like I know him better than most do, could it be the fact that he used to be Calistarius now you all know that I knew him well, or maybe its because he is different to my once best friend, I don't know, could be both I suppose no matter what I am grateful that he chose me to be his apprentice.

Like I said yesterday I see the struggle that Mephiston goes through every day to remain himself what if I am the one to help him what if that is my destiny what if that is my purpose maybe there is a way they he will remember who I was to Calistarius maybe I can be that way with him after all he used to be my once best friend, I really need to learn how to control my thoughts when I am around him because from time to time I can feel him read me read what I am thinking, if I keep thinking of how things used to be it may not go how I want it to or how it is supposed to go.

Yes as you can tell from yesterday's entry I have finally accepted that my best friend has gone and he's not coming home, yes it is upsetting especially when you know that Mephiston has taken over his body and he still looks how I remember him well other than the fact that instead of having colour he is now pale with vampire fangs, basically the walking dead but don't let that put you off he is actually really nice can be strict but while we are not training he is nice and supportive and he does help me study for my theory.

The theory is always the last thing we do it is basically what gives you the right of passage to become a Blood Angel after the theory there is the ceremony for the ones that passed their practical and theory test, I know when I pass I would have to call Mephiston Chief Librarian or Lord Mephiston as I wouldn't be a trainee any more but that is for another time or when we get to that point for now lets carry on with how things went on the first day.

Doing my training was like being back at school well accept I was the only student and Mephiston was the only teacher and a really good teacher at that like I said he was not one to let people in normally but that's where it was different for me he let me in, by now you are probably guessing what is so different about me well other than being the daughter of the Primarch nothing I am just like every one else here, yes things did get better as the time went on I learnt how to control my thought and the memories and managed not to blow anything else up, that wasn't easy either, Mephiston told me to focus all my anger in to Vitarus his force sword but because I wasn't fully trained yet I had to use it, the trick of a Psyker is knowing how to focus and channel all the anger in to the object or the weapon we had chosen, like in my case I had Vitarus the force sword so I had to channel all that anger in to it to light it up yes it did take me a few attempts but I did get there eventually OK it took me three attempts and guessing by the reaction I got that was a record, it came to the end of the day and like normal we sat down had something to eat and we where talking like old friends did but things seemed different this time we weren't talking about how the lesson had gone, Mephiston was telling me about all the battles he had fought, then I made the mistake of asking him about his battle with the Black Rage yet he still answered all my questions he wasn't angry or upset which did surprise me a little he liked that I had a curious mind and was just seeking answers.

I know he didn't have any one to help him with his battle with the Black Rage but he did say that if I was to ever go through it he would help me fight it and make sure that I never ended up in the Death Company like he did and that he promised me would never happen, what if that is what it takes for me to go through the Black Rage for him to remember who I was or what I meant to him, or could there be another way, I have noticed the more time we spend together the more he seems different or maybe I am just seeing things maybe that is my mind telling me that I will never really get over my best friends death.

That night I got upset yes odd for me being as I was normally good at hiding my emotions, well I was crying when Mephiston came in to my room and asked if I was OK well my normal answer would have been yes I am fine but we are talking about someone who knows when I am telling a lie so I had to answer with the truth which was no I wasn't so that is when I told him what was wrong.

I should have known that something had happened to Calistarius cause when he died the Nexus link that formed disappeared at the same time it was like a part of me was missing something I had got so used to being there had been ripped from me it was like I wasn't whole any more, I wanted it back so bad, what would it take to get it back and make me myself again.


	9. Chapter 9

008.M41

Well today is my last day of training it is also where my theory test is and I will be with the rest of the recruits that started the same day as I did it is also where we find out who made it, the ceremony will be conducted by my father and Lord Commander Dante I just hope now I do not let my mentor Mephiston down this is the day I have been worried about for months now I have done more revision in the past few weeks than I have ever done this is where I wish I still had the Nexus link for support not to cheat it will also show you after I became a Blood Angel and what I would be up to before the Black Rage.

So my training first well easy enough Mephiston took me through the battle he had while on the Eclipse Of Hope a Blood Angel battle barge that had disappeared during the fifth Black Crusade so he asked what my Battle Plan would have been if I was in the position of the Chief Librarian well him that was it was simple I would have done the same thing he did and took a team to explore the Battle Barge yes probably not what most of you would have done but it would have had to have been an on the spot decision as it was sending people on whatever planet it passed insane and killing one and other, it had destroyed planets in it wake it was a massacre beyond anything else and at that point I would have made the right choice yes the decision would cost lives but ultimately save another's life as well a life of a Blood Angel that was lost at the same time as the Eclipse Of Hope.

So now for the theory well most of you would be thinking its just another exam like school but you would be wrong it was much much worse than that for the first part we had to write a five hundred word essay as to why we wanted to be a Blood Angel and what we would bring to our chosen path, the second part was a real hard test to how we would react if chaos tried to lure us to betray our team and join them it was simple in a way like would we join and why or would we stay loyal to our Primarch and why if you picked you would join you wouldn't be chosen to become a Blood Angel and you would be sent home so you know what the right answer was, the last part of the theory was the battle on the Eclipse Of Hope well that I had already done so it was easy to me I just put in my answers from my training session earlier that day.

Now for the ceremony well now I was not sure how I done and it scared me this is where we would find out but I was so nervous I was just hoping I had made a good impression and had done enough to prove myself and to show I would be a good addition to the team, well it was time to find out so here goes nothing, a few names came up and I had that feeling that I didn't make it but then the next name was mine and I walked up and shook hands with my father and then Lord Commander Dante and I knew I had done it I had achieved my dream after all of this there was a party and thank god I had got my father back he could act like my dad again and that I was thankful for I know things where going to be different now I know one thing I wouldn't have to move from where I was, where I had settled, I got to stay in the same area as Mephiston.

Now for what happened after well the first few months where slow there where no battles so we where mostly doing our own thing that is when word got out what had happened Horus the Luna Wolves Primarch had betrayed the emperor and chose to side with Chaos I knew this is the fight my father was on about to me when he said we would fight side by side, while we where fighting Horus managed to pull my father away from me, I was so lost in the heat of the battle I never realized until it was too late until Horus had killed my father and the Emperor had slain Horus he was able to kill him thanks to a chunk that my father had taken out of Horus's armour this was the worst day I was on my knees crying when I felt a friendly squeeze on my shoulder when I looked up and seen it was Mephiston and Lord Commander Dante who where standing there hoping to make me feel a little better, as you can tell things didn't feel the same to me after that with my father gone I was the only person left that could keep the Blood Angels going, though I didn't feel very special or useful I had just lost my father, that's when I knew things wouldn't be the same again that was the day that my life changed for the worst or for the best.


End file.
